Seanan McGuire, author of one of my favorite novels of the year, Indexing, which has its premise that all fairy tale archetypes, be they Sleeping Beauty or the Wicked Witch, are tropes that manifest in certain people and there’s nothing that anyone can do except break the trope before it fully transforms its victim. Or mop up the results afterwards. As she puts it in the novel, ‘A motley team struggling with their own unfolding narratives, they are tasked with identifying potential outbreaks using the Aarne-Thompson Indexing and making sure the story doesn’t reach “ever after” . . . because if it does, someone is usually dead, broken — or worse.’
So, as she explains in Fairy Tale Survival Guide, ‘Have you ever wondered how to respond when a strange man on the street offers you six magic beans in exchange for the family cow? Are you unclear on how one survives encounters with witches, dragons, giants, and worst of all, pixies? Then the Fairy Tale and Ballad Survival FAQ is exactly what you need to keep you alive long enough to get to “happily ever after.” From elves and gnomes to magic mirrors and enchanted princesses, we’ll try to address your biggest concerns. As with all magical spells, results are not guaranteed. Enter the deep dark woods at your own risk. Once upon a time…’
Now her guide to dealing with the Fey is good enough that I’m thinking of adding it to our visitors’ guide, as Kinrowan sits on The Border to and from (and possibly sideways as well) Faerie and every so often someone errs, like thinking a wee green plant-like being is oh so cute. We had to bury that visitor very deep so we couldn’t hearing his screaming … And no one wants to talk about the fact that though the Russian Wolfhounds, descendants of ones gifted to us by someone named Jekaterina a long time ago, avoid The Border at all costs, our cats go back and forth all the time. Some stay the same, some are changed in ways quite odd.
So after you read this Guide, you know why we warn all our visitors to be polite to the Fey, even the lowest of them, including the Brownies, never eat or drink anything they offer unless you check with a human staffer here, and enter into bargains with them at your own peril. Remember that and you’ll be reasonably safe. Oh, and the young girl named Alice and Her Rabbit of An Unusual Size is not who you think she is — they are not to trusted.
