I believe in easy cooking. If it takes longer than fifteen minutes to assemble, it’s too hard. This is not because I lack the patience to cook more elaborately. It is because my darling husband’s stomach comes with an alarm clock that goes off promptly at six every evening. If we are not sitting down to eat by then, he wants to know exactly how long it’s gonna be, because he’s starving. Oh, the trauma.
Hence my extensive trove of quick-and-dirty recipes.
“Tump” is a white trash cooking term meaning “open a buncha cans and tump ’em in the pot.” You don’t get quicker or dirtier than that.
This is a fast, soupy, not-chunky chili. It can also be used as a filling for Sloppy Joes.
1 lb. chorizo, nuked for 4-8 minutes but not drained
2 cans kidney beans w/liquid
1 can cream corn
1 can corn niblets, drained
…and choose a total of two more cans from the following:
black beans, drained
garbanzo beans, drained
pigeon peas a.k.a. jibaritos (Spanish for “hillbillies”) drained (my favorite)
blackeyed peas, drained
…plus this stuff
1 large onion, chopped
2 T brown sugar
1 T ground allspice
1 t ground ginger
Optional:
a few small-diced cooked potatoes
a few minced cooked carrots or cooked sweet potatoes
Tump all this stuff into a pot. Stir. Bring to a boil.
While you wait for that to boil, mix thoroughly in a separate cup or bowl:
1/4 to 1/2 c fine yellow corn meal
1/2 c water
Add cornmeal and water mix to chili and boil, stirring thoroughly, for ten minutes. The cornmeal will thicken this rather soupy chili.
Serve with cornbread. Feeds six to eight.
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A veteran of the “good grief feed these women something before they kill somebody” chef school, Pog (Person of Girth) is accustomed to whipping up mega-calorie meals for her team of Coed Demon Sluts. While she is not above pulling a crate of frozen pot pies out of the freezer and throwing them in the oven, she prefers to cook “from scratch,” if you can call tump cooking “cooking.”
She also has 101 uses for chorizo.
To find out just how much more the Sluts can eat than you can (because you don’t have the succubus metabolism) try book one, free only at BookViewCafe.com. Everywhere else it’s $2.99.
